i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
