rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize