Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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