i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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