we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
