just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
3pm strippers are depressing
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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