But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
