Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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