Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
