Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
my nose is crying tears of wow.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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