i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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