I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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