Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
