that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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