doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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