I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
