There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
