pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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