Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I want a musical about memes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
