Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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