Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
