You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
