So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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