I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
