Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
