You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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