Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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