Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
