Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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