I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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