Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I want a musical about memes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize