on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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