She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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