i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
