Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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