Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize