I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
