my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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