yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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