and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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