She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So squirting runs in the family.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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