he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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