He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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