New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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