I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
