yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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