I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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