Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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