i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
