Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
