I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
