Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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