addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
