I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
