Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
