My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
