He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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