I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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