its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
