Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I believe in your delicious
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
