YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
