So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
