another moral hangover. fuck.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
