the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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