atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
