we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
