I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
