what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
