K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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