I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize