I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
