Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
