they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
