im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize