other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
