You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
