oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
