Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
